


adrenaline

by sayohjna



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Abortion, Blood, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Internal Conflict, Teen Pregnancy, Violence, but basically tomoe fucks himari with a coat hanger, i dont know how to put this in a pretty way, tomoe is trans i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 18:57:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19910602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sayohjna/pseuds/sayohjna
Summary: Himari is terrified of this whole situation, the looming prospect of a life full of shame and pain, the inevitable corruption of her future plans. But Tomoe is always there for her, ready to solve even the biggest crises.





	adrenaline

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MakesNoNonsense](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakesNoNonsense/gifts).



> for my fave himari kinnie ❤️❤️  
> the title is kinda dumb lol

Himari’s mistake weighs heavy on her heart and her body. She needs to tell Tomoe, she's needed to tell Tomoe for months now. 

It was fine. Just one time, right? Himari just really wanted to get creampied, Tomoe just really wanted to cum hard, and neither of them thought about the consequences in their horny teenage brains. 

“God,” Himari whispers, staring at the positive pregnancy test in her hand. It's nothing new, but even after the twelfth test, she feels her stomach drop each time. 

One time really is enough to fuck you over. Himari knows this, she knows how fucked up her and Tomoe’s future will be. Dying poor, shameful, and depressed on the streets. No way to take care of this child, no plan or source of income. 

But somehow, Himari feels a kind of exhilaration. She'd wonder what the baby would look like, what to name them, how their personality would be. Himari was partial to the name Kokoro, but she wasn't sure if Hello Happy World's lead singer would appreciate a living mistake being named for her. Not that Kokoro would even understand what was happening, probably. 

But it can't be like that. Himari won't be able to raise her kid. The adoption system is broken too, the poor thing will suffer for life in the care of abusive orphanages. And most of all, Tomoe would never agree to help. She would help if she needed to, but against her morals and against her will. She supposes that’s proof of their love for each other. 

Himari grabs her phone with shaky fingers and begins to text Tomoe. ‘Hey babe, can we meet in the alleyway?’ That should suffice. Himari nervously hits the send button before quickly putting her phone back on the counter. 

The device buzzes after a few seconds, but Himari resists the temptation to check it. She needs to get cleaned up a bit more. 

After washing her hands and face, she decides to put on a little mascara. Makeup boosts your confidence, right? Nothing too over the top, thought. 

After fixing herself up, Himari does feel a little bit better. Still, she hesitates before turning on her phone. 

‘What, no emojis? Aww, is someone feeling bad? Haha, of course we can hang out!’

Smiling, Himari texts back. ‘Thanks. I love you.’ Even in this crisis, Tomoe calms her and helps her feel better. Everything will be under control as soon as they come up with a solution together.

With a refreshed sense of determination, Himari slips her phone into her purse and bounces out the door. 

It takes only a few minutes to get to the alley in question. Tomoe is already waiting for her, bright and smiling. She waves and giggles. Himari waves back, trying to not let her anxiety get the best of her. 

“What's wrong? Is everything okay?” Tomoe asks as soon as Himari is in earshot. 

Himari pulls her girlfriend into a tight hug. Hopefully Tomoe doesn't notice the soft tears staining her jacket. 

“It's… No. It's not okay.” she mumbles, leaning back a little bit. Tomoe understands and pulls away but gently keeps her hand around Himari’s arm. 

“What is it?” Tomoe watches her tenderly. “What's wrong?”

“I…” Himari starts. “I-I’m pregnant.”

Tomoe’s grip around Himari's arm tightens, and the smile slips off her face. 

Himari panics. “I-- I'm sorry! I should've told you earlier! I'm sorry!”

“How long?” Tomoe says quietly. 

“S-six months,” Himari replies. 

Tomoe stares at her. “Six months?” she repeats. 

“Yes… I’m… I'm so sorry, Tomoe….”

Tomoe releases Himari's arm. She stays there, still, standing quietly. The silence beats against Himari’s eardrums, or maybe that's her racing heart. An eternity passes in those few seconds, and it feels like she's slowly melting in boiling water. 

The atmosphere is shattered as Tomoe lunges forward to pin Himari against the wall. But this isn't like all the other times, where she'd gently kiss her girlfriend and smile. Tomoe has one hand against Himari's neck, the other restraining her wrists. It's not soft or warm at all. 

“Do you understand what you've done?” Tomoe says, voice stone cold. Devoid of any kind of life or emotion Himari recognizes.

Himari chokes in response, trying to form words, but Tomoe squeezes tighter. 

“No, do you understand what this means? Six months. Six fucking months, Himari. We can't go to the doctor for this. It's illegal for them to do anything at this point.” The words begin to echo in Himari's brain. Tomoe continues, “There's no fucking way we can raise a kid. We need to get rid of it. This disease, this parasite in your womb-- It needs to be gone.”

As Himari’s vision begins fading and going fuzzy, Tomoe suddenly lets go and drops her to the ground. The rush of oxygen into Himari's throat feels like she's drowning. She almost wishes for Tomoe to grab her neck again. 

Himari coughs a bit, partly to recover, partly to see if Tomoe would choke her if she made any noise. After deciding Tomoe probably wasn't going to lunge at her again, Himari says weakly, “Wh-what are we going to do?”

Tomoe doesn't respond, just continues scanning her eyes across everything in the back alleyway. She huffs angrily and looks back to Himari. “Wait here. I'll be back.” 

She turns around and stomps off, leaving Himari alone with her fears and fantasies. Almost alone. Maybe Tomoe was right about this, this thing… A disease, a leech, no matter what you call it. It'd ruin their lives. But even so, Himari wishes for a brief moment that she could meet her baby. Her and Tomoe’s child, beating in her womb… It would be romantic if it wasn't so fucking scary. 

Himari is pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of Tomoe’s approaching footsteps. She wants to look up at her girlfriend, but something in her knows that's a terrible idea. She resigns herself to look at the bricks on the other side of the alleyway. 

Tomoe kneels and begins to stroke Himari's cheek. “Hey. Look at me.” Her voice is softer now, caring and lovely like the Tomoe that Himari fell for. She tentatively raises her head, green eyes meeting Tomoe’s icy blue. “Listen. We're gonna be okay. This might be painful, but…” Tomoe glances down at her curled hand. “Please just trust me. I promise we'll be alright.”

Tomoe stands up and offers her hand to Himari. She gingerly takes it and is pulled up into Tomoe’s arms. 

“Let's go somewhere more private,” she mumbles. Nodding, Himari follows Tomoe farther into the alley. 

Now that she's standing, Himari can see the object in Tomoe’s hand a lot clearer: A coat hanger. 

“Get down,” Tomoe says, but it's more encouraging than commanding. Obediently, Himari sits on the ground and spreads her legs. 

Tomoe wastes no time, already pulling off Himari’s panties as she kneels. She lifts up Himari's shirt and begins teasing one of her breasts too. She's already making those cute little sounds, damn. What an adorable slut. 

Tomoe spreads Himari’s labia open, rubbing gently. She pulls back to marvel at Himari’s cute pussy, so round and perfect and delicate. She's savoring the last time she'd see it that way. 

She lets go of Himari’s breast, leading to a disappointed whimper from the other girl. But she soon makes up for it when the cold metal of the coat hanger touches Himari. 

It slides in a little, spreading her pussy open and making her moan. Tomoe pushes a little harder, still slow but more determined now. She buries her head into the crook of Himari’s neck. 

Himari leans back and presses her head against the brick wall. Tomoe’s hot breath down her spine makes Himari's skin crawl, and she shudders from the combination of fear, pain, and pleasure. 

Even with a coat hanger, Tomoe is gentle when she fucks Himari. The slow movement of the wires inside her is really turning her on, maybe more than Tomoe’s dick could. This really shouldn't be hot. But it is, and that's what matters right now. 

Soon the rubbing becomes twisting, and then to a faster tempo. They're both enjoying this way too much, but Himari doesn't wanna stop. She wants Tomoe to keep fucking her, to keep messing up her pussy until the baby is no more. 

As if reading her thoughts, Tomoe stars moving a bit faster, then a bit more, then faster still. It's beginning to hurt now as Tomoe relentlessly pumps the coat hanger in and out. 

Gradually, Tomoe’s movements turn into rotating instead of thrusting. The hanger presses against the back of Himari's vagina, rubbing and tickling her cervix. 

She screeches as Tomoe forces it in further. It's absolute anguish, yet it feels so, so good. 

“That’ll teach you to not do this again, huh?” Tomoe mutters. “Never keep secrets from me, Himari.”

Himari barely hears Tomoe over her own panting. It's in her womb, through her cervix-- she's never had anything go this deep before. The wire twists and turns inside her, wreaking havoc on her body. 

The baby is probably long dead by now, but unfortunately it's a little hard to scoop the remains out. Frustrated, Tomoe drops the coat hanger and begins going at it with her fingers.

Himari feels Tomoe’s boner press against her leg. It's being squeezed between her girlfriend's thighs, which are bucking against her a little. Everything about this is just so fucking good. 

Himari’s pounding heart echoes in her ears, deafening her, taking over her. She feels like she'll never come down from this adrenaline high. There's no going back because if she crashes she'll go so low. The more elevated you are, the longer you fall. 

But it doesn't matter how high up Himari is, because Tomoe will catch her every time. She loves Himari, and Himari loves her, through all the pain and tears and hopeless. Through the laughter and smiles, through emptiness and lonely nights. 

This really is the best kinda love, huh. Giving up your lives for each other, making you so irreversibly damaged and needy for another’s warmth. Throwing out any sense of self respect and letting someone else control your life. 

She's brought back to reality by Tomoe getting harder against her leg, breathing heavily. Himari’s torn up insides rub against each other and the pleasure of Tomoe fingering her just adds to the effect. She's not gonna last much longer like this, neither of them will. 

Himari cums with a squeal, squirting all over Tomoe’s still-moving fingers. The sudden tightness against said fingers sends Tomoe over the edge too. 

“Fuck,” Tomoe grunts, letting her legs go slack. After a few minutes of post-coital fuzziness, she manages to untangle herself from girlfriend. She extracts her hand carefully from inside Himari and stares at the now bloodied fingers. 

Tentatively, she licks the tip of one. And she begins to put it in deeper, sucking Himari’s blood off her index finger. It's not too long before she puts the rest in. The sensation of her fingers and the lubrication from the blood swirling around her mouth nearly makes Tomoe hard again. She manages to get it under control, though.

“That's good…” Tomoe mutters. “Is that how you feel when I stick my dick in your mouth?” she adds in a teasing tone. 

Himari makes a noise somewhere between a whimper and a moan. She slowly opens her eyes, looking at Tomoe blearily. 

“Is it over?” Himari mumbles. “The…. baby…. it's gone?”

“Mhm,” Tomoe says. “It's gone. You're alright.”

Himari looks down, head careening to one side. “Ohh…. It's bloody…”

“You still taste so sweet.”

“I'm really a mess now…” Himari mumbles. “Like it's really… messed up down there…”

Tomoe gently presses her lips against Himari's forehead. “It's okay. You're my mess.” 

“Will you really like a m-mutilated pussy like mine?”

“It always feels good when it's with you,” Tomoe whispers, rocking Himari back and forth. “I wanna keep you forever. You're mine now, more than you ever were.”

Himari makes a soft, unintelligible noise that was probably supposed to be ‘I love you,’ but it kinda sounded more like ‘I’m luyoo.”

Tomoe pulls her closer. “I love you too.”

Himari falls silent in Tomoe’s arms, breath slowing as she drifts off to sleep. Maybe someday they’d try again, when they're ready to take care of a child. But for now Tomoe just cradles Himari, warm in this moment. 

**Author's Note:**

> yes this was based off personal experience (emotionally i mean. my ex didn't fuck me with a coat hanger bc i miscarried naturally). anyway i know i'll prolly get hate for this fic like i did last time and likewise i won't respond or delete any of it, if you chose to click this you brought everything upon yourself. anyway thanks for reading even if you hated it


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